How can one thing cause both peace and anxiety? Strange thought, huh? Seems like that shouldn’t be possible, right?
This last week we were blessed with the first snowstorm of the season. For someone who loves Christmas (inherited from my mom), and starts listening to Christmas music in August (also inherited from my mom), I was thrilled to hear it was going to snow. I was equally excited to see the snow coat the dirt with a purity only God can master so wonderfully, creating a “clean slate,” as they say. I would definitely have a hard time not enjoying a white Christmas, should I ever move to a warmer climate.
Last week I also had to work on Remembrance Day. Fun right? Not so much since nobody else in my family or my friends group had to work that day.
The whole day it snowed, and it also blew. The wind made it feel rather chilly even though it was only a couple degrees below zero. Thankfully we were able to close two hours early because it was slow in the evening.
We were only open from 1-9, however, we were able to close at 7 instead. It was busy in the afternoon because of the things we had to do on top of helping customers with only three staff on hand, but any customers that came, came before 6:30. By the time we were done cleaning up it was 7:30 which, in November here in Manitoba, means it was already dark outside.
None of us were excited to drive home. Between the three of us, we all had a minimum of a 15 minute drive to and from work. My drive home usually takes me about 25 minutes, however, due to the wind, the visibility was terrible with periodically whiteout conditions. On top of that, the rain from the day before was freezing and mixed with snow sticking to the highways.
I had one more thing making this a stressful drive home – I still had my summer tires on. I got home twenty minutes later than I should have purely due to the snowy weather.
All in all, the snow caused me both peace and serenity, while simultaneously causing me stress and mild anxiety.
This last Sunday, I had the privilege of helping pack Christmas shoe boxes in Sunday School. Because I was already downstairs to accompany a song leader I stayed to see if they needed help with packing the shoe boxes. Mom had strongly hinted at the idea so I stayed.
Turns out, my assistance was, at the very least, appreciated. I wasn’t expecting to enjoy being down there with the kids that much. It was fun to watch them pack and repack, or rather cram and re-cram, all that stuff into each box.
The icing on the cake was the singing. I regularly play piano for Sunday School, and I really treasure it! Listening to the children sing their hearts out to the Lord gives me goosebumps (and no, it’s not just because their timing and pitch leaves something to be desired).
This is the part that gives me peace. So many children longing to learn more about Jesus and praise His holy name!
On the down side, our Sunday School, and church membership in general, has been dropping in numbers. Countless people are leaving the church for many reasons.
I remember a time when we had enough kids in Sunday School to have two groups of singing instead of just one. Also, before I was in Sunday School there were so many kids they almost didn’t have room for them all. Now there are so few we have three big classes of maybe 30 students total rather than twenty or so classes of 5 – 10 students each.
That, I’m sure you can tell, is the part that gives me anxiety. I want things to go back to the way they were. Nonetheless, since time travel doesn’t work, and I don’t want to stay a kid forever, I want things to be like they were, in the present.
Yet, how to get people back in church and regain that unity and desire for Christ is beyond me. It definitely doesn’t make me sleep easy, though, knowing that there isn’t much I can do or know how to do. It’s hard to have faith when things seem to only be getting worse and worse with no light at the end of the tunnel, as far as the eye can see.
I would love for things be like they were. When did church become so easy to skip? When did it become second in command to the rest of our daily lives? When did having fellowship with one another and gathering together so that Christ will be with us and joining our voices in praise to God become so undervalued?
My greatest question is…. why can’t it be that way again?
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”
Hebrews 11:1 KJV