No matter what type of instrument you or I play, we are all in the same boat. There are two major things that hold us back from playing our best in front of an audience.
Have you ever spent a week or a month or more practicing a song or songs for a live event until you thought, “there is no way I can get it wrong now?” Whether it may be for your music teacher, or for church, or for a street performance, or for a live concert, I think all us musicians have had a time where we thought, “I got this.”
So we get up, prepare ourselves and our instrument… and royally butcher the song we worked so hard to perfect. Ouch. We leave the stage, (whether figuratively or literally) and cry. For me, that part happens on the inside, but regardless of how, it happens.
“How did that happen?” you ask yourself. Well I am by no means an expert in music, but I have found out that there are two reasons that really get in the way of you and me performing our best.
My Instrument Library
I play the piano first and foremost. Last April I decided I wanted to branch out and learn something new, so I bought myself a mandolin from JB Music in Winkler, MB. It was a great deal and it even came with a pickup installed!
Last summer I also brought my sister’s flute home so that I could attempt to learn it. I specifically wanted to learn Be Thou My Vision on flute. I haven’t gotten very far with that….
Then I put another instrument on my Christmas wish list after finding it on YouTube. It’s called a kalimba, or finger piano. I thought it was a neat little instrument that you can take with you anywhere and it’s quiet and pretty enough that it is nearly impossible to annoy those around you.
This instrument infestation looks really good in our living room. I was given a wall hanger for my mandolin so it’s hanging just above the Yamaha Clavinova (yes I know I’m spoiled).
Does that do any good to further God’s kingdom, though? Is it right to keep these talents hidden in my house? How many of you would agree with me and say about yourself that you, or in my case I, am not talented enough to play for others? Doesn’t matter where or for who, I’m just not good enough.
This is where we have two things that we must overcome in order to use our talents for Christ. What are those two things?
- Perfectionism
- Insecurity
Perfectionism
We all know we could never be perfect, so why does that stop us? Why do we use the excuse that “I’m not good enough,” become good enough for us to not use our God given talents? After all, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” (Philippians 4:13 KJV).
Why then do we insist upon our stubbornness and refuse to play? If I can do all things through Christ because He strengthens me, then why can I not play well enough for others? I believe it’s because I focus too much on my playing being as close to perfect that I can get, resulting in disappointment when I am no where near perfection.
Perfection is something we should strive for but not dwell on. Why? Because we are to be like Christ, but we are not to be Christ. We should strive to be like Christ in all ways: humble, loving, slow to anger, slow to speak, gracious, peaceful, etc..
Jesus does not ask us to be perfect, He asks us to follow Him. Only Jesus is perfect in all ways, therefore we should strive to be like Him, however we must acknowledge that we will never be Him and thus we will not be perfect here on earth.
Overcoming Perfectionism
It’s a lot easier said then done to put aside that need to be perfect and the discouragement when we fail. With practice though, we can learn to play for Jesus and remember that perfection in the instruments we play is not where He wants perfection. He wants us to have a perfect love for Him.
In trying to play perfectly, we are setting ourselves up for failure, and discouragement. Play for Christ and you will play your best. If only because you won’t care about those notes you stumbled over, or the repeat you forgot. You will only care about the Lord you serve and will know that you played to glorify Him, which is the right reason.
Insecurity
Insecurity also plays into our performances. It holds us back from playing well because we care so much about what others might think about us. It gets to the point that those thoughts fill our minds when we play and distract us from the notes in front of us.
Why do we let those thoughts creep in? Why do we care what others think? Sometimes I say I don’t care what someone else thinks but that’s not really true. In reality, when I sit down at the piano in Sunday School and see who is watching and listening, I get shaky and nervous and I remember just how much I didn’t practice.
Overcoming Insecurity
It’s at those times when I play quite horribly. When there is someone listening that can play way better than me, I lose all concentration. I read in a book yesterday that we as humans will often put judgmental thoughts into the minds of others. In other words, when someone, who I know has more skill than I have, is in the audience, I think about what they must be thinking and those thoughts are usually along the lines of how terrible I am.
What else can someone better than me possibly be thinking? Well in reality, most of those people don’t think that. Unless you give them a reason to judge you (like when you are proud of your skills, or rather lack of skills,) they will most likely empathize with you when you stumble, and congratulate you when you succeed.
Think about it the next time you are in the audience of someone less experienced than you. Think about your thoughts. Are they negative? Or are the positive? Then next time you are in the audience of someone better than you performing, try to be positive and let them know they did a good job. “Judge not that ye be not judged,” Matthew 7:1.
Practice makes perfect and that means we will be practicing the rest of our life. In all things give thanks to the One who gave you the ability to do what you are doing. Whether you are playing your instrument for others or whether you are listening to others play their instruments, give thanks.
To All Overcomers
Rest assured that you are not alone in the struggle. Talk to others and let them know what you are going through. Maybe they can help to keep you accountable to yourself to let go of perfectionism and to become secure in yourself and your God given abilities.
Overcoming perfectionism and insecurity can be a never-ending process. It can be something that you may or may not ever fully overcome. Part of overcoming is humbling yourself and that can be accomplished most easily with the help of the good Lord, Himself. He alone is your strength and He alone will carry you through your struggles.
